Life Isn’t Fair

August 1999

“Life isn’t fair!” Dad would retort whenever I complained about the unfairness of no dessert or the unfairness of wearing my older sister’s hand-me-downs.  Twenty years later, I have accepted his adage as fact.  Life is not, no matter how you look at it or how many frilly ribbons and flowers you embellish it with, fair.

A while ago, I was reading about the devastating earthquake in Turkey when the evidence of life’s injustice slapped my face.  “The Death Toll Nears 10,000”.  “An Air of Desperate Helplessness.”  Thousands of people died because of the brutish power of Mother Nature.  And in the precise place where such an event is both unexpected and irreparable.  Is that fair? 

How about the superfluous photos of devastation provided generously by the Associated Press?  The unrestrained gawking at those in distress as they wander through the carnage, hoping hopelessly that the decaying hand they see below a broken door frame is not the hand of their mother or sister or daughter.  Meanwhile, some 25-year-old AP kid with $10,000 worth of camera equipment and a new pair of shoes snaps a photo of one distraught grandmother as she pages through a salvaged family photo album – the only remaining piece of her life after Mother Nature said “no”.  Is that fair?

I was also disturbed when John Kennedy, Jr. died.  Sure, the Kennedy’s have more than their share of skeletons.  But John John was the “American Prince” with virtue that seemed to far surpass those of his ancestors.  Perhaps he should have had sense enough to refrain from flying on a hazy night when he hadn’t the license nor the experience for doing so, but why did the powers that be condemn yet another Kennedy for this careless arrogance?  So they’re a bit adventurous. There are plenty of folks out there jumping out of airplanes and climbing Mt. Everest.  Why should such a disproportionate number of Kennedys die ahead of their time in such unpleasant, radical manners? How can that be fair?

During the same week that Kennedy died, I got a chain e-mail from someone complaining about the press.  Apparently, two American soldiers had died in Kosovo during that week and the news of those soldiers is, if anywhere, on page D7 while the Kennedy’s are front-page news for weeks on end.  The author of the email griped about the media for catering to the rich and famous while people who were trying to do great deeds for our country were ignored.  What about the soldiers’ families?  What about their place in society?  Why do John-John and his wife and sister-in-law deserve a tax-paid burial at sea while our armed forces are forgotten in the Kennedy Hype?  Is that fair?

Of course not. 

But so what?  Life isn’t fair.  And that’s just the way it is.

I recently got a memo from the president of my company.  When I got done reading it, and I got done laughing unrestrainedly, I tried to decide how I could survive without an income until my new dream job arrived.

The memo indicated that between December 15th and January 15th, no employees will be allowed to take vacation time.  In addition, we will receive absolutely no holiday time for either Christmas or New Year’s, leaving us exactly two days to celebrate with our families who may live hundreds of miles away.  If we call in sick during the specified period, a doctor’s note is required.   He also demands that all departments work in the bank branches over the holidays to help allay customer fears that Y2K will bring the world to a shrieking halt.  And, he expects us all to do this with absolutely no compensation, no reward, and a big, fair, hairy smile on our faces.  Because he said so. 

I called dad to whine about the injustice of it all.  You can probably guess what he said.