Life’s Big Questions

“Don’t hang that yet.  There’s still a few spots of paint to touch up.”

“Well… if we’re going to cover it with the picture, why do we need to touch it up?”

“…”

“…”

“Okay.  Why did I tell you to paint behind the television?  Why did we go to all the trouble of taking it down, unscrewing everything, painting?  Why did you agree to that?”

“I don’t know why.”


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THE WAY I GOT

I’ve been called intelligent, strong, an idiot, annoying, entertaining, obnoxious, kind, crazy, hilarious, a sociopath, a narcissist, beautiful, ugly, hideous, insensitive, a robot, intense, an insitgator, a mediator, logical, friendless, undateable, hot, creative, retarded, professional, leggy, fat, skinny, short, tall, blonde, blue-eyed, brunette, crass, vulgar, classy, crude, rude, inconsiderate, socially unacceptable, socially adept, talented, skilled, curious, and ridiculous.

I’ve also been told I have presence.  And horse teeth.  And that I’m “too much”.  Often.

I have no idea what the truth is.