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How I Got This Way Powered by Ninja Monkeys!

Tacking Up for Christmas

Last Christmas season, my then-boyfriend and I were riding around with my parents after sunset.  We had probably just eaten some too-salty Mexican food at a nearby dive when we drove past someone’s lit up reindeer. I know you’ve seen them.  Those white holiday reindeer that the less savory members of society see fit to display on their lawns beginning three days before Thanksgiving and ending a week before Valentine’s Day.  This year, they released

Posted at 3pm on 01/12/09 | no comments | Filed Under: Parents (It's All Their Fault), Siblings read on

I Remember those Bats in the Belfry

Written for a personal website in 1996

Quite an eventful day, really. What with all of the tornadoes all around, I don’t expect to sleep tonight. Bad weather has always terrified me. Once, when I was little, I moved all of my “personal belongings” (which consisted of my journal, photo albums and guinea pigs) to the basement of our house because there was a tornado watch for our county. Another time, not so far in

Posted at 5pm on 08/08/08 | no comments | Filed Under: Everything Else read on


THE WAY I GOT

I’ve been called intelligent, strong, an idiot, annoying, entertaining, obnoxious, kind, crazy, hilarious, a sociopath, a narcissist, beautiful, ugly, hideous, insensitive, a robot, intense, an insitgator, a mediator, logical, friendless, undateable, hot, creative, retarded, professional, leggy, fat, skinny, short, tall, blonde, blue-eyed, brunette, crass, vulgar, classy, crude, rude, inconsiderate, socially unacceptable, socially adept, talented, skilled, curious, and ridiculous.

I’ve also been told I have presence.  And horse teeth.  And that I’m “too much”.  Often.

I have no idea what the truth is.